The Date That Shall Be

Here’s something they do not tell you when you order furniture for your nursery – it’s huge. We ordered a pretty standard six-drawer dresser and a crib. On Saturday, we took our Ford Ranger Bought for Two Bottles of Wine to pick them up confident in the fact that they would easily fit and the truck would earn its keep. We pull up to the loading dock and out comes this box that could have saved another 12 people off of the Titanic and a gentlemen who kindly says “Oh, that ain’t gonna work.” Given our other transportation options “comfortably” seat five adults, the truck is the only option we have. (Side note: the truck also lacks for power steering, air conditioning, and power windows – truly a vehicle after my father-in-law’s heart - and required Susan to drive separately just in case it needed yet another jump to start. And that rhyme was accidental.)

In the end, this required separate trips for each item, with the crib only fitting because we did not get a “lifetime” bed – a crib that turns into a toddler bed that turns into a full bed which they market as “the crib your child can take to college.” Those things are massively large. These are the things the baby books don’t tell you about.

As for now, the dresser and crib are in the garage “outgassing,” which, I am assured, is a concept with which I’m going to have to get very comfortable. Basically, new future has pesky little odors that come with their construction. Given Junior’s limited immune system, the furniture must be allowed time to emit all of the chemicals related to its creation before it actually gets used. These are the things the baby books tell you about.

The biggest news is that the Date of Delivery has once again moved up. Originally set for June 6, then June 1, the show will officially start May 24 for that is when the c-section is scheduled. This has required us to alter other parts of our schedule; specifically, the date to begin commencing panic has been moved up to April 1.

Having already established an internal deadline of the end of April to have everything in place, this still works for us, though it does require us to now figure out what everything is and where its place might be. Anyone who has seen our kitchen over the past year knows that color selection and room design are not well-developed skills within the denizens of this home.

One of the great things about this new date is that it greatly reduces the concern about our clearances expiring before we could leave Florida. As mentioned before, there was a slim chance that, given the 7-to-10 days typically required to process the interstate compact agreement, our clearances would expire before the paperwork was processed, leaving us in some unknown baby limbo. A May 24 birthday reduces this concern significantly. Of course, it also means that we just wasted money to get recleared, but, at this point, I care not.