Next week CBS News will be running an expose on an adoption scam that, according to their ad (here, if you're so inclined: http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=7360577n&tag=mncol;lst;1), is taking advantage of "couples desperate for a child." This ad goes beyond your typical over-sensationalizing news hype for pieces that don't blow the lid off of anything; it's insulting.
Adoption is not an act of desperation. It is not a means of last resort. With the glut of fertility options available today, the ability to have a biological child is more a factor of how far you're willing to go to have one than on your ability to. Adoption is a choice, a decision just like any other. Certainly, other factors can play a part in that decision, but that choice should never be considered the last desperate gasp of the pathetic and childless. And those who choose to adopt should not be classified that way in order to sell ad space during the nightly news.
Mild rant now over.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Go Right Ahead and Call It a Comeback
So, where were we?
Last I wrote, we had met with Sam and Diane in a restaurant in Florida and decided we were all willing to do this. The big news is that we now know the gender of the child. Personally, neither Susan or I felt a strong need to know this information. Had Diane not wanted to find out herself, we wouldn't have asked it of her. We thought about just keeping the information to ourselves but came to the realization that it was only a matter of time before we slipped with a gender-specific pronoun. So, a boy it is.
Having nothing but nieces this does throw some of my limited parenting experience out of the window. But I was allegedly a boy at some point, and I survived that, so I must know something about them. The name, as I've said before, will not be revealed until he is, but our internal deliberations had a much longer list of girl names than one for boys. Let's face it, boy names stink. Of course, my strategy of "we'll know the right name when we hear it" isn't the most efficient tactic and leads to the random blurting out of random names to see if they'll stick.
As for the adoption itself, everything is progressing nicely. We (by which I mean Susan, as I'm a horrible phone conversationalist) speak with Diane about ever other week, just to keep touch. That really is a rare treat in the adoption world. Typically, you never interact with the birth mother; it's much more of a business transaction. Everything is happening as it should.
Our only speedbump to date has been our clearances. When you adopt, you have to jump through many administrative and bureaucratic hoops to be qualified to adopt. But those qualifications are only valid for one year. Ours expire June 9. Our son is due to be born June 1. Once he is born, we cannot leave the state with him until our paperwork (the interstate compact agreement) has been processed. That typically takes between seven and ten days. Doing the math, the worst case scenario leads us to having a child that we cannot legally take home because our clearances expired before the paperwork is processed.
Yes, this is a highly unlikely scenario, and I am typically the last person to play the "worst case scenario" card. But that's because I'm willing to play the odds and accept the consequences if I'm wrong. I'm not willing to be wrong this time. As such, we've rejumped through the bureaucratic hoops to get recleared. The only problem now is that it takes two to four months to process the clearances. And that's a worst case scenario I'd rather not ponder.
Last I wrote, we had met with Sam and Diane in a restaurant in Florida and decided we were all willing to do this. The big news is that we now know the gender of the child. Personally, neither Susan or I felt a strong need to know this information. Had Diane not wanted to find out herself, we wouldn't have asked it of her. We thought about just keeping the information to ourselves but came to the realization that it was only a matter of time before we slipped with a gender-specific pronoun. So, a boy it is.
Having nothing but nieces this does throw some of my limited parenting experience out of the window. But I was allegedly a boy at some point, and I survived that, so I must know something about them. The name, as I've said before, will not be revealed until he is, but our internal deliberations had a much longer list of girl names than one for boys. Let's face it, boy names stink. Of course, my strategy of "we'll know the right name when we hear it" isn't the most efficient tactic and leads to the random blurting out of random names to see if they'll stick.
As for the adoption itself, everything is progressing nicely. We (by which I mean Susan, as I'm a horrible phone conversationalist) speak with Diane about ever other week, just to keep touch. That really is a rare treat in the adoption world. Typically, you never interact with the birth mother; it's much more of a business transaction. Everything is happening as it should.
Our only speedbump to date has been our clearances. When you adopt, you have to jump through many administrative and bureaucratic hoops to be qualified to adopt. But those qualifications are only valid for one year. Ours expire June 9. Our son is due to be born June 1. Once he is born, we cannot leave the state with him until our paperwork (the interstate compact agreement) has been processed. That typically takes between seven and ten days. Doing the math, the worst case scenario leads us to having a child that we cannot legally take home because our clearances expired before the paperwork is processed.
Yes, this is a highly unlikely scenario, and I am typically the last person to play the "worst case scenario" card. But that's because I'm willing to play the odds and accept the consequences if I'm wrong. I'm not willing to be wrong this time. As such, we've rejumped through the bureaucratic hoops to get recleared. The only problem now is that it takes two to four months to process the clearances. And that's a worst case scenario I'd rather not ponder.
Take Me Back, Blog
Dear Blog,
No, I did not forget about you. I know for a time there, you and I were pretty close. Things were happening with the adoption, and you were my means of spreading the word without having to repeat myself twenty times. I'd have something to report, and there you would be, patiently waiting to be voice, no matter what time of night or how random the thought. You never judged me. Then I just up and left you.
I know what you're thinking. This new report came into my life, and I dedicated all of my writing time to it. And you're right. I spent a month writing a 26-page report that 26 people might ever read. But I had no choice, ol' blog-o-mine. The boss said "write" and I said "how much?"
But I never forgot about you, bloggy dearest. I knew you would wait for me, for you have proven yourself loyal by the fact that you're free of charge and with minimum features. So, what do you say we get back into this? There's thoughts to share!
Your Loving Author
No, I did not forget about you. I know for a time there, you and I were pretty close. Things were happening with the adoption, and you were my means of spreading the word without having to repeat myself twenty times. I'd have something to report, and there you would be, patiently waiting to be voice, no matter what time of night or how random the thought. You never judged me. Then I just up and left you.
I know what you're thinking. This new report came into my life, and I dedicated all of my writing time to it. And you're right. I spent a month writing a 26-page report that 26 people might ever read. But I had no choice, ol' blog-o-mine. The boss said "write" and I said "how much?"
But I never forgot about you, bloggy dearest. I knew you would wait for me, for you have proven yourself loyal by the fact that you're free of charge and with minimum features. So, what do you say we get back into this? There's thoughts to share!
Your Loving Author
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